Are you an enabler?
Let’s talk about money. Money is a big deal, right? Let’s get something straight. Money is a big deal NOT because it’s a big deal, but because we MAKE it a big deal with our stories and programs. Money is energy, plain and simple.
What would you do if you allowed yourself to receive money? When I asked this question in my FB groups, nearly EVERYONE commented that they would help people. One beautiful goddess said that she would do all her work for free, and that raised another interesting question.
What does HELPING look like to you?
Those of us in this group, Conscious Creators Changing the World, all have a big calling to help, so it’s very important for us to understand what HELPING is and, at what point, it becomes something else…something detrimental to us and the person we’re trying to help. We also need to become aware of our relationship with MONEY so that we can have that big impact in the lives of others that we desire to have.
There are many perspectives of what helping means. One example of an extreme viewpoint is a woman who ran a FB group I was in. She was offering information that I was also getting from another source, and when she found out I had another teacher, and that I wouldn’t ever actually PAY for her coaching services, she kicked me out of her group! She’s helping people, but ONLY those who pay her.
The other extreme is something I think most of us in this group are guilty of…over-giving. Do you give TOO MUCH? Unfortunately, over-givers tend to be ENABLERS. They give and give and give, and don’t ask for, or expect, to receive anything. My Peruvian mother and grandmother are over-givers, and I believe it is because it is uncomfortable for them to NOT give. This can be just as damaging as the other extreme.
Remember, your perception of HELPING will be different from someone else’s because of the beliefs you’ve taken on from your family and your culture. For example, in Peru, when someone has a child, everyone in the family is EXPECTED to help raise that child without getting anything in return, like money. It is a cultural belief, and one my mother and grandmother were a part of. But, here, in the US, most people don’t ask family for help, as it’s not expected of them, and will PAY other people to help care for their children. Be aware that your definition of HELPING will grow and expand as you heal and release some of the beliefs you carry.
So, HELPING can mean different things to different people. But, where is the line between HELPING and ENABLING?
Imagine a friend or family member who keeps getting in trouble. Over and over, they mess up and go to jail. You bail them out and they do something to land them right back in the slammer. It becomes a cycle. They go to jail, and you bail them out. What are YOU getting out of this relationship? Are you truly HELPING that person? Clearly, they’re not learning how to get their life back on track. And there is a reason for that.
They DON’T want to be helped, they want to be RESCUED. And you are enabling that.
It’s easy for parents of adult children to become ENABLERS. The children continually make the same mistakes, and the parents keep saving them, because, well, it’s their KIDS! What could be wrong with that? What’s wrong with that is no one is growing.
When you see someone you want to help, ask yourself, “Will I be helping or enabling?”
Bottom line: each person has his or her own path, and they have come here to experience certain things. What if they’re meant to go through the one thing you keep RESCUING them from? What if they NEED to go through it to grow, to get to the next phase? We forget that other people have just as much POWER as we do, and that EVERYONE can help themselves when they’re ready.
If you’re not sure you’re helping, determine what the energy is behind the situation. Is the person living in a VICTIM energy? Helping should be a team effort. The person needing help should WANT to accomplish something, have a GOAL they want to achieve. It should be BOTH of you working toward that goal, not just you. Helping someone takes TWO. There has to be a COMMITMENT on their part.
You can’t HELP someone who doesn’t want to be HELPED.
If you try, you’re RESCUING them. You’re ENABLING them. And you’re not HELPING anyone.
I also want you to be aware of how ENABLING affects YOU. When you help others and receive nothing in return, resentment builds up inside you, whether you realize it or not. After time, it can be a huge hurdle in your life.
Remember, the Universe is about BALANCE. Giving and Receiving.
Look at NATURE. It rains (giving), and things grow (receiving). When we breathe, we inhale (receiving) and exhale (giving). There is a natural flow to the Universe, and when you over-give, or enable, you are disrupting that flow. Ask yourself, is this desire to give without receiving coming from my Higher Self, or somewhere else? To want to give without receiving is allowing your ego to step in, and the ego doesn’t care about BALANCE. It only cares about doing its job…protecting you.
In my own journey, I had to learn how to be in that flow. I realized that everyone I was trying to help had just as much POWER as I did, so, if I could CREATE wealth, why couldn’t they? I also learned to receive the money as an energy exchange, and knew that it meant the other person was making a COMMITMENT to change something in their lives. After all, it is part of our DIVINE CALLING to see everyone in their highest light.
Do you see how MONEY and your SERVICE to others are intertwined? We will be talking a lot about these topics in this series, so stay tuned!
See your value, and the value of others. We are not here to rescue victims, but to teach others how to heal themselves when they are ready. You are the Divine and the Divine is always flowing. Go with the FLOW! Let’s open up to prosperity, abundance, money, love, EVERYTHING!